Quotations
Famous Quotations
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Monty Python Quotes
«He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!»
Author: Monty Python
| Keywords:
bereave, bereaved, bereft, bereft of, ceased, choir, choirs, curtain, daisies, expire, expired, expires, expiring, gone, invisible, joined, maker, nailed, nailing, no more, parrot, parrots, passed, perch, perched, perches, pined, pines, pining, pushing, push down, rests, ringed, ring out, Ring The, ring up, rung, stiff, stiffest, stiffing, The Choir, The Makers, The Nails
«He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.»
Author: Monty Python
«Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!Biggles: Here they are, lord.Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?Biggles: Yes, lord.»
Author: Monty Python
| Keywords:
accused, cardinal, Cardinals, confess, counts, cushion, cushioned, cushions, deed, divulge, divulged, fetch, fetching, Ha Ha Ha, heinous, heresy, hurting, old lady, old woman, poke, poked, pokes, poking, previous, reject, stuffing, The Cardinals, The Works, ungodly, utterance, Wilde
«BEN: You lucky, lucky bastard. BRIAN: What? BEN: Proper little jailer's pet, aren't we? BRIAN: What do you mean? BEN: You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh? BRIAN: Slipped him a few shekels? You saw him spit in my face! BEN: Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face. BRIAN: Well, it's not exactly friendly, is it? They had me in manacles! BEN: Manacles! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be allowed to be put in manacles... just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny. BRIAN: Oh, lay off me. I've had a hard time! BEN: You've had a hard time?! I've been here five years! They only hung me the right way up yesterday! So, don't you come 'rou-- BRIAN: All right. All right. BEN: They must think you're Lord God Almighty. BRIAN: What will they do to me? BEN: Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion. BRIAN: Crucifixion?! BEN: Yeah, first offence. BRIAN: Get away with crucifixion?! It's-- BEN: Best thing the Romans ever did for us. BRIAN: What?! BEN: Oh, yeah. If we didn't have crucifixion, this country would be in a right bloody mess. BRIAN: Guards! BEN: Nail him up, I say!»
Author: Monty Python
| Keywords:
all right, Almighty, arse, bastard, ben, bloody, Brian, crucifixion, crucifixions, friendly, get away, God Almighty, guards, hard time, hung, jailer, lay off, mess, nail, offence, off guard, Oh Yeah, PET, proper time, put in, Romans, shekels, shines, slipped, slip away, slip off, sonny, spat, spit, the right way, the Romans, yeah
«Of course, it?s a bit of a jump, isn?t it? I mean, er? chartered accountancy to lion taming in one go? You don?t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking?»
Author: Monty Python
«?This morning, shortly after 11 o?clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy.?»
Author: Monty Python
«?Ah, Mr Anchovy! Do sit down.? ?Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh? Lovely weather for the time of year I must say!? ?Enough of this gay banter. Now, Mr Anchovy??»
Author: Monty Python
«?I?ll tell you what?s wrong with you? your heads addled with novels and poems. You come home every evening reeling of Chateau le Tour.?»
Author: Monty Python
«Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?»
Author: Monty Python
«Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy,»
Author: Monty Python